Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How external is "for external use only"?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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