I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
