Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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