so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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