So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
