He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Every concussion has its silver lining
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
