Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
