i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize