forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
