I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Please don't give away my fajitas
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
