Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
