and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
