? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
