barbara walters just said penis...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize