she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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