Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
