You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
