dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize