Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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