He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize