I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
