Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
