I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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