marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
