I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he just fucked me for my cheese.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
