i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
no, he came in my armpit
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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