i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
