I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I could fuck to npr.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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