They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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