that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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