Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
