Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
zippers are such a cool invention
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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