my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
foreskin is a definite game changer
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We're too hungover to prance.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
