I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
