just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
