Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
