You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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