I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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