like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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