watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Text me some of your sweat
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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