Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
