please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
