absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
