ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
All I want is dick and wine.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
