Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize