Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
