glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
