Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize