your parents love me but you hate me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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