CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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