He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
