ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
