yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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