We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
