Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
