Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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