Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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