haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
