The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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