Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
