She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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