So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
