I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
operation harelip BJ is a go
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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