she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
