I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
