Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
