You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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