At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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